The style of a friendship
As I invited one of my best friends – Eva – to join me at one of Vienna’s many great balls, I was once again reminded what the style of a friendship actually is. The style of this special friendship revealed itself when we prepared ourselves for the ball in my apartment. We had practiced this ritual for various festivities many times before. We have known each other for 27 years. In many cases, these preparations were much more beautiful, funnier, and more exciting than the events themselves.
The great thing about a long-standing and unconditional friendship is that you never have to explain yourself. You pick up in very special way where you left off the last time, even if that last time happened a long time ago. It had surely been more than ten years since Eva and I had done this ritual together, and yet, when she arrived at my apartment, it felt like we did exactly the same thing just a week ago.
The extraordinary thing about this wonderful relationship is that everything we do together feel absolutely natural. You do not have to explain anything, we can just be ourselves. Everything is what it is, and it is never about your job or how successful you are. It is just about who you are in that moment and how you are doing.
These times together among true friends are the most precious moments in life. It is also an actual snapshot of that moment. It is all about that momentum. What’s interesting about this situation is that, as we put on our respective outfits for the ball, we were focused on ourselves individually but we still had appreciative exchanges. And this is how it is supposed to be all the time. We can only be with each other when we are truly with ourselves as well. When we help each other to choose and apply necklaces or bow ties we help each other adorning ourselves. This is a very beautiful metaphor for how true friends, apart from ourselves, always adorn us in the best way possible. They want us to be beautiful, not to please somebody else but for our own sake.
When we prepare for an event, we traditionally indulge ourselves: we open a bottle of champagne and enjoy the occasional appetizer. My friends, male and female, are definitely masters of indulgence. Indulging ourselves is a wonderful basis for relationships and their development. I believe that the essence of a friendship often reveals itself in if and how we indulge ourselves when we are together.
And then comes the moment when we are ready – ready to go to the event. We like to delay our departure a little because we know that the intimacy of our preparations has to give way to the publicity of the event. Just one more very private dance, just being a little crazy a little while longer in a safe environment, and then off we go. The trick is to transfer the feeling that emerges during this prep time into the reality of the event. And this time, we did it once again. The ball was wonderful. It was magical, down to earth, very personal – simply stylish!
Fotos by Emilia Stone